07 May 2012

$#@% Happens, So Join the Dark Side

Today, I feel like a big fat failure. Literally (Don't worry, optimists, this will end well, just keep reading). For the past week I already have felt like I am not "on top of it." My workout schedule was completely thrown off last week and today, I did alright eating but didn't drink nearly enough water, and I noticed a significant downgrade in my ninja star throwing skills. My neighbor's cat may need medical attention.

Ya think?
The point is, what do you do when you fail? Not IF you fail, WHEN you fail. Most people will tell you to keep your chin up and just keep pluggin' along. Some people will try to make you feel better and tell you that "it's okay, even the best mess up and slip from time to time." There are a million ways to justify it.

The biggest decision you will make in moments like this is what to do when confronted with failure. The way I see it, there are precisely three of them:

  1. Get down on yourself.
  2. Let it roll of your shoulders, and keep going.
  3. Get extremely pissed with yourself, and take it out on your fat body in the gym.
The winner, in my opinion is number three. And here's why:
  1. Getting down on yourself, to be honest, is no worse than just giving up altogether, and going back to being a Fatty. 
  2. Letting it roll of your shoulders is step one towards giving up altogether. It goes without saying that every action or inaction you take or don't take has consequences. Unfortunately, for so many people, the consequence of number two (as in above, not intended to be a poop joke, although I should have) ...well, the consequence is not stopping and recognizing how significant each and every decision you make is in this weight loss journey. 
  3. But the third option? That's where it's at. "Is anger really the way to go, Andrew?" "Anger isn't healthy, Andrew." WRONG!

My version of the Dark Side...straight thug.
Let me ask you a question? When was the last time you were really ticked off? I mean, ready to snap someone or something in half...that kind of angry. Now let me ask you this. How determined and dedicated in that split second were you? Most people are extremely resolved in that moment. They will do just about anything. Some people take it to the max and do horrible things. Some people avoid anger and they become apathetic. But I am suggesting that you join the Dark Side (see Star Wars. If you haven't seen it, are you even alive right now?) and embrace your anger, control it, and go kick your own ass in the gym. See? I am so angry I just cursed about it...grrrrrrr...Andrew Smash!

I want you, readers, to know that I am writing this to myself more than anything. I want you to know that you're still being cheered on in your journey and you have a fan in The Fatty Fighter. But I also want you to know, that if you are like me right now...if you want sympathy...go get it from yo mama, cause you ain't findin' it here. Let's go hit it hard in the gym and beat ourselves up.

Disclaimer: People may not like you when your angry (see Hulk). So warn your trainer or the little old lady on the exercise bike next to you (ya know, the lady that doesn't even look like she is moving her legs?). But I will tell you who will like you when you're done being angry. You.

What it looks like after spending years in the gym...and after a nuclear explosion in your backyard.


  1. The whole concept of this blog post is foreign to me. I never fail.


    Always perfect.

    And pretty - always pretty.


  2. @ Sabrina: Fit. Laugh. Lie. Love. :) I hear ya, though, haha.

  3. Don't forget 3A - Figure out where and why you went off track and come up with a strategy for dealing with the 'unforeseen' next time.

  4. Are you tracking your calorie intake? I can't remember...