24 May 2012

Thomas the Tank Engine

Disclaimer: The next 5-10 minutes are going to blow your mind. Seriously, put on a Kevlar helmet, because your brain is valuable and I don’t want to be held responsible for what may happen. Not to mention, exploding brains are really messy. So I hear.

Today is the day, ladies and gentlemen. It’s time to climb aboard the pain train with Thomas the Tank Engine, my trainer/personal executioner.
A little scarier than that fruity train above, huh?
Now some of you may be saying, “Andrew, I don’t need a trainer. I can motivate myself.” Or “Andrew, I just bought p90x.” That’s all well and good, but let me just lay out a couple of advantages to a personal trainer:
  1. Accountability. There are very few people in this world that do not need support from someone through such a difficult thing as a weight-loss journey. Thomas, for example, knows what I eat, drink, and can see how it affects me every week during my workouts. Knowing that he could break me over his leg and/or grind me up as part of his daily protein shake is both humbling and incredibly effective in keeping me on track. 
  2. Motivation. I typically do a lousy job at motivating myself during workouts. When the pain in my legs starts to creep up and my brain starts screaming “You suck at life! You need to stop!” (Yes, I hear voices…probably should get that checked out…okay, the voices are telling me to move on now), Thomas is there to say “Keep it up!” or “Four more!” or “That babe over there said she’d give you her number if you do a one-armed push-up.” Lean on your trainer to help you believe that one more lap is not only NOT going to kill you, but that you can do it.
  3. Convenience. This is the one area in a weight-loss effort where I am happy to let someone else plan something for me. Meals I can handle. Drinking water, I can do. However, I look like a lost sheep in the gym. So, someone directing me is both helpful and needed once a week. The cool thing about Thomas, too, is that he gives me homework for the times I am in the gym and don’t meet with him. Sadly, ninja star throwing has not shown up on the list of approved exercises.
Here are the cons to having a personal trainer: ……………….crickets………………..

I know what you’re thinking. “Andrew, you haven’t addressed my number one obstacle!” Cost. What can I say? Sell that big screen TV or PlayStation. Cut out fast food and sodas, you’d be surprised how much you might be paying already. Sell one of your kidneys (you really only need one anyway…right? Doctors? Hello?) Reaching out to others takes guts, I know, but try asking someone you trust, who loves you, for help with the cost. In the end, a ride on the pain train with someone like Thomas the Tank Engine is always less costly than a ride in an oversized coffin. If you don’t believe me, listen to the man himself. Oh, and yeah, he's not playing around. Read the whole thing...it's legit. From the Tank Engine himself:
Hello to all of the many interested individuals who aspire to create and build a life-long relationship of consistency that provides residual health benefits by understanding the fundamental principles of fitness and nutrition. Those of you who fit the criteria of the guy or girl who is “the antithesis of the gym connoisseur” or a carbon copy of the “sedentary lazy boy slumper”, you should take heed to all of the remaining information that follows.  
As U.S citizens, we live in the information age and a world of technological advancements that expands beyond the limitless ranges of our minds ability to conceptualize and yet, many of us, when it comes to exercise and nutrition, immerse ourselves in a third world country mentality. People would rather violate their bodies from inactivity or improper functional usage of human kinetics because of conditioned predisposed reasons that are neither valid nor justifiable. So, we get frustrated because we realize that time is truly an earthly possession that never befriends us. Aesthetically we are not as pleasing as we were in our formative years. So we grasp for the quick fix with hopes of morphing into an Adonis in three weeks, when in actuality it took us five years to destroy the bodies we house.         
We implement a microwave strategy plan that feeds an insatiable desire to accommodate our multi-tasking ways of living. As we become more focused with the purpose driven nuances of success and career, we more often than not have the propensity to view working out as another mundane task rather than a necessary element that prevents you from flat lining. Catch my drift?  
It’s imperative that you understand the amazing benefits of resistance/strength training and living a life with a nutritional purpose. It has a way of galvanizing many of our deficiencies and imperfections by turning them into physical, mental, emotional and spiritual assets.  Understanding that you have a problem but being unwilling and negligent as it pertains to your internal fitness and nutritional compass is not only doing a disservice to you but to all that surround you! Being an advocate of healthy living and understanding what your body needs from a fitness and nutritional standpoint is a choice that you must make for life preservation.  
But also remember that your body’s inability to heal from within stems from several reasons and one in particular is a lack of oxygen. Without healthy cell replication or division, because oxygen intake is limited, can in fact result in diseases such as cancer and certain brain abnormalities. Working out systematically tells your body to metabolize efficiently, burn fat, and build lean muscle tissue. 

Also, water should be a major focal point to prevent dehydration and help eliminate free radicals that destroy our cells ability to replicate with efficiency. The world we inhabit is comprised of a little over 70% water. Our bodies contain right at about 70%! Coincidence? I think not! The correlation is simple; water and oxygen are essential and mandatory components to sustain life for both Mother Earth and Mankind! 
Drinking 64oz of coffee and sodas combined does not count, nor does smoking or inhaling second hand smoke for oxygen! It’s incumbent upon us all to break free from the chains of sedentary ignorance and ordain ourselves with the power of what fitness and nutrition will provide.   
If anyone has any questions, needs motivation, factual information, and/or a competent trainer that designs specific training regimens and nutritional information for their authentic body type, and eliminates the “no pain no gain theory” to show you how to get fit and have fun, then go to my website at www.ehwr.net. I will accompany my friend and client Andrew with info on his blog as it pertains to health and fitness. I also have a secondary e-mail address which is tpjrneely@yahoo.com if you have further questions or just need to talk about your situation. Stay tuned for my next post.
I appreciate those of you who took the time to read the information. Let’s get healthier and fit to build a better world!!!
Thomas Neely | Executive Health and Wellness Resources 

1 comment:

  1. Great to hear first-hand from your personal trainer, Andrew. I've been told that diet carries more weight, no pun intended, than exercise in weight loss. In the long-run, I tend to disagree. If it weren't for my own committment to a personal trainer for most of a year, I'm not sure I'd be where I am today. That is, living and loving - yes, I said loving to exercise! You know there's been a real change when you reach the point that it depresses you more to miss out on a workout than it does to drag your derrière to do just that. Personal trainers are true first-aid responders who, in the end, become your bona fide lifesaver. And for those who say they wish they had one but can't afford it, I'd say if your track record proves you never stick with locking-in then you cannot afford NOT to get one. Trust a former fatty himself, the money I spent on ruining my body and then going to the doc with all kinds of medical ailments (some real, some not) far outweighed the cost of a personal trainer. Last thing.. your personal trainer wants you to succeed more than anyone else in your cheering camp. Sometimes when you doubt you got anything left and you're done, your personal trainer proves to you that you don't have to listen to that old tape or buy into that old lie anymore. Yep, a real lifesaver. Man, it's good to be alive!